February already?
Wednesday, February 01, 2012

How time flies.

Absolutely F.L.I.E.S

Are we just flies off the wall (shouldn't that be lizards?) that watches the time wheezing by?

Oh well.

Finished reading Jo Nesbo's 'The Devil's Star' three nights ago.
Second book read by him, the first was Nemesis, read last year.
I like his pace, I like his plot and sub-plots and intricacies and weaving of the tale.
Makes for an interesting catchy read, and his characters truly do come alive.
His characters are very "current".

I bought his books (Nemesis & Redbreast) at the same time I bought Roslan Mohd Noor's '21 Immortals' by Silverfish last year. I was intrigued by a write-up in The Star about 21, so when I chanced upon it in the bookstore, well I just grabbed it. And being published by Silverfish made it a good prospect for a good read. As for Nesbo, I bought it because it says 'International Bestseller'. That works for me :)

Anyways, on 21, yes, the author should be applauded for flawless writing in English and finally giving us a local Malaysian flavour of crime. But I didn't quite like it though. A bit bland for me though it showed us some mechanism of the workings of the local brass, AND close-to-life dialogues that can be heard on the Malaysian streets, offices, etc. Wanna buy the book off me? Still in mint condition :)

Moving house is such a hassle. Things are still in boxes, and boxes are still outside the house waiting to be stored.
Some book boxes are unpacked.
Thinking of selling some books, most likely priced between RM5, 8, 10, 13, 17 for the old books, depending on the condition.
These are randomly plucked figures from my overworked brain, nothing conclusive as yet.
But I should. I must. Let go of some books.

What say you?
And where shall I publish it online (with pictures, of course?)
#

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posted by dee3 @ 13:08, ,


Cloudy reasoning
Saturday, January 28, 2012

I have always believed that in order to "know" someone, you'd need to know how the person thinks.
If you can "see" his thought process, then you can "predict" his reactions.
This is especially true when dealing with a superior at work, if you can get used to what angers the boss, then you'd avoid them, ya?

That being said, it is often easier to observe from afar.
When the "subject" in question is sharing the very roof that you're under (say a younger sister), then it is hard to be objective.

When emotions comes into play, there's always no objectivity.
Feelings clouds judgement, all the time.

That just sucks, doesn't it?
Being unable to control your emotions when things go wrong.
So does that imply that I am a control freak? NOT!

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posted by dee3 @ 01:00, ,


Hello 2012!

Yes, hello. It's been awhile, hasn't it?

So what else is new but CNY has come (and not yet gone. Not until Chap Goh Mei, that is).
So what else is new but I haven't said a peep here since 2009.
So it's a 2-year hiatus, it is!

Many things said and done in that 2-years.
Many things that hurt and inspired in that 2-years.
Many straight roads, detours, U-turns, dead-ends in that 2-years.

But what matters is that we are still breathing, and amazed yet irritated by the events surrounding us.
And yes, that includes breaking down once-in-awhile to drown in our sorrows, until the time we decide that the sun is actually burning bright.

So what beckons in life is HOPE. FAITH. LOVE.
HOLDING ON. BRACING THE STORM.
LETTING GO.

Responsibilities can make us buckle, but consider the exercise on the shoulders, it should make it broader and stronger, no?

This year, I propose to properly and faithfully let go of the remnants of hurt left inside.
It doesn't do to keep the hurt welled up, it's not like I'm earning interest in FD.
It's not enriching me, and it may well increase the probability of early retirement 6 feet under.
So if what is required is to delete those no-good telephone numbers, then I will.

I am still the procrastinator that I am.
Oh well, you've gotta live with it. I have, for 34 years now.
Sigh. Mid-30s beckoning. More sigh.

For now, first book read for 2012 is Jostein Gaarder's "The Solitaire Mystery".
The question of which book do I like better compared to "Sophie's World", I can't answer.
Mystery is so well-written that it intertwines seamlessly, and I am amazed at his thought process in coming up with the plot and sub-plots. It must have been a difficult book to write *heh*methinks
World on the other hand... is so concise that I can just pick up the book and read from anywhere.

Oh well, not that I am a book reviewer, but I think that I should chronicles the books read.
For 2012.
And working backwards, I probably should cover 2011 and 2010 as well, to make up for lost time.

Isn't keeping your brain and thoughts active the way to age "gracefully"?
I digress.

So here's another HELLO!

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posted by dee3 @ 00:15, ,


2010 is coming...
Thursday, December 31, 2009

Live in the Present...
the Past can't be undone, the Future has yet to come.

As hard as it may be, I must.

posted by dee3 @ 16:49, ,


whims or fancies?
Tuesday, August 11, 2009

i deserve someone...

someone who is sincere in his feelings for me. someone who is sincere in wanting to be responsible for me...
its just that i havent met the person yet
i thought i did before, but it was all just a mirage
it looked better than it seemed. just an illusion.
so i learnt my lessons in love the hard way, by falling straight down
and it wasnt easy for me to give my heart out in the first place
it's not that i am bitter or resentful or angry
it's just that, time heals everything, but the scars remain
so this time around, i'll have to be on my guard even more

-#-

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posted by dee3 @ 02:13, ,


Osho: intuition: knowing beyond logic
Sunday, February 01, 2009

On Marriage
People go on avoiding marriage, people go on putting it off. When someday they find it impossible to get out of it, only then they relax. If you are outside it, it may look like a beautiful oasis in the desert - but as you come close, the oasis starts drying and disappearing. once you are caught in it, it is an imprisonment - but remember, the imprisonment doesn't come from the other, it comes from within you.

***
fear of marriage is fear of imprisonment, of no longer living life freely - as and when you want it.
fear of marriage stems from inwardly not wanting to commit and be responsible for the other.
fear of marriage is not wanting to conform to society and religious accountability in life.

*quote* Freedom only exists when love is present. The person who gives him or herself wholly, the person who feels freest, is the person who loves most wholeheartedly. *unquote*

*quote* We may not get what we wanted but we are in control of what we can do, and the outcome is not for us to decide. If we had one chance, whatever the outcome it may be or what we may presumed, let's not lose that one chance, for we may not have another. *unquote*

- I honestly can't remember where I got these from though!
-#-

posted by dee3 @ 12:08, ,


2008, 2009
Friday, January 02, 2009

happy new year!
may 2009 brings the contentment in life, the magnetized pull of money, the good well-being in health and the realization of correcting errors past.

2008:
a year full of trials.
full of sorrow.
full of unfulfilled promises.

a year of courage.
a year of tribulation.
a year of strength from within.
a year of realization.

a year of rally from people whom really cared.

i have learnt in 2008:
whatever that is murky will come to rise and will be seen. all it takes is patience.
no war can ever be won without winning battles.

note on battles and wars:
you don't have to win all battles. what's important is winning the war. (that's what they said).
but the battles are the foundation in assessing your strength to win the war. and that was where i slacked. i was content to lose battles because the bigger picture was winning the war. in the end: lost all the battles, and can't win the war either. hence: no war can ever be won without winning battles.

thank you for being, for bearing with me thus far.
-#-

posted by dee3 @ 03:40, ,


IF by Rudyard Kipling
Tuesday, December 09, 2008

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
--Rudyard Kipling

***
This was my first thought when faced with the adversity of loss in July.
It helped me stay sane.
This poem just spells the will to hold on, to have faith, to progress.
It is truly an inspiration on its' own.

As hard, as broken, as tough, as painful... life is a pill that is bitter in the mouth.
To swallow is to progress. To spit out is giving up.
Life is.. undoubtedly, a pill that is bitter when it stays in the mouth.
-#-

posted by dee3 @ 11:18, ,