whims or fancies?
Tuesday, August 11, 2009

i deserve someone...

someone who is sincere in his feelings for me. someone who is sincere in wanting to be responsible for me...
its just that i havent met the person yet
i thought i did before, but it was all just a mirage
it looked better than it seemed. just an illusion.
so i learnt my lessons in love the hard way, by falling straight down
and it wasnt easy for me to give my heart out in the first place
it's not that i am bitter or resentful or angry
it's just that, time heals everything, but the scars remain
so this time around, i'll have to be on my guard even more

-#-

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posted by dee3 @ 02:13, ,


Osho: intuition: knowing beyond logic
Sunday, February 01, 2009

On Marriage
People go on avoiding marriage, people go on putting it off. When someday they find it impossible to get out of it, only then they relax. If you are outside it, it may look like a beautiful oasis in the desert - but as you come close, the oasis starts drying and disappearing. once you are caught in it, it is an imprisonment - but remember, the imprisonment doesn't come from the other, it comes from within you.

***
fear of marriage is fear of imprisonment, of no longer living life freely - as and when you want it.
fear of marriage stems from inwardly not wanting to commit and be responsible for the other.
fear of marriage is not wanting to conform to society and religious accountability in life.

*quote* Freedom only exists when love is present. The person who gives him or herself wholly, the person who feels freest, is the person who loves most wholeheartedly. *unquote*

*quote* We may not get what we wanted but we are in control of what we can do, and the outcome is not for us to decide. If we had one chance, whatever the outcome it may be or what we may presumed, let's not lose that one chance, for we may not have another. *unquote*

- I honestly can't remember where I got these from though!
-#-

posted by dee3 @ 12:08, ,


2008, 2009
Friday, January 02, 2009

happy new year!
may 2009 brings the contentment in life, the magnetized pull of money, the good well-being in health and the realization of correcting errors past.

2008:
a year full of trials.
full of sorrow.
full of unfulfilled promises.

a year of courage.
a year of tribulation.
a year of strength from within.
a year of realization.

a year of rally from people whom really cared.

i have learnt in 2008:
whatever that is murky will come to rise and will be seen. all it takes is patience.
no war can ever be won without winning battles.

note on battles and wars:
you don't have to win all battles. what's important is winning the war. (that's what they said).
but the battles are the foundation in assessing your strength to win the war. and that was where i slacked. i was content to lose battles because the bigger picture was winning the war. in the end: lost all the battles, and can't win the war either. hence: no war can ever be won without winning battles.

thank you for being, for bearing with me thus far.
-#-

posted by dee3 @ 03:40, ,


IF by Rudyard Kipling
Tuesday, December 09, 2008

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
--Rudyard Kipling

***
This was my first thought when faced with the adversity of loss in July.
It helped me stay sane.
This poem just spells the will to hold on, to have faith, to progress.
It is truly an inspiration on its' own.

As hard, as broken, as tough, as painful... life is a pill that is bitter in the mouth.
To swallow is to progress. To spit out is giving up.
Life is.. undoubtedly, a pill that is bitter when it stays in the mouth.
-#-

posted by dee3 @ 11:18, ,


alone. forlorn?
Monday, November 17, 2008








alone?






been away from greenie for some time now, haven't i?
need to start picking up from where i left off. literally in the blogsphere, and in reality as well.

pictures says all, for the time being (perhaps).
pictures taken from national geographic 'international photography contest' / wallpaper / here







forlorn.




-#-

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posted by dee3 @ 10:57, ,


Viktor E. Frankl: Man’s Search For Meaning
Thursday, April 17, 2008

Nietzsche's words "He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how"

I was given this book by a kind man/blogger. Below are excerpts of meaningful passages, for contemplation.
My thoughts on it later.


On Love
Love goes very far beyond the physical person of the beloved. It finds its deepest meaning in his spiritual being, his inner self. Whether or not he is actually present, whether or not he is still alive at all, ceases somehow to be of importance.
I did not know whether my wife was still alive, and I had no means of finding out (during all my prison life there was no outgoing or incoming mail); but at that moment it ceased to matter. There was no need for me to know; nothing could touch the strength of my love, my thoughts, and the image of my beloved. Had I known then that my wife was dead, I think that I would still have given myself, undisturbed by that knowledge, to the contemplation of her image, and that my mental conversation with her would have been just as vivid and satisfying. “Set me like a seal upon thy heart, love is as strong as death.”

On Suffering
The attempt to develop a sense of humour and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick learned while mastering the art of living. Yet it is possible to practice the art of living even in a concentration camp, although suffering is omnipresent. To draw an analogy, a man’s suffering is similar to the behaviour of gas. If a certain quantity of gas is pumped into an empty chamber, it will fill the chamber completely and evenly, no matter how big the chamber. Thus suffering completely fills the human soul and conscious mind, no matter whether the suffering is great or little. Therefore the “size” of human suffering is absolutely relative.

On Living
The Latin word finis has two meanings: the end or the finish, and a goal to reach. A man who could not see the end of his “provisional existence” was not able to aim at an ultimate goal in life. He ceased living for the future, in contrast to a man in normal life. Therefore the whole structure of his inner life changed; signs of decay set in which we know from other areas of life. The unemployed worker, for example, is in a similar position. His existence has become provisional and in certain sense he cannot live for the future or aim at a goal. Research work done on unemployed miners has shown that they suffer from a peculiar sort of deformed time – inner time – which is a result of their unemployed state. Prisoners, too, suffered from this strange “time – experience”. In camp, a small time unit, a day, for example, filled with hourly torture and fatigue, appeared endless. A larger time unit, perhaps a week, seemed to pass very quickly. My comrades agreed when I said that in camp a day lasted longer than a week. How paradoxical was our time – experience! In this connection we are reminded of Thomas Mann’s The Magic Mountain, which contains some very pointed psychological remarks. Mann studies the spiritual development of people who are in an analogous psychological position, i.e. tuberculosis patients in a sanatorium who also know no date for their release. They experience a similar existence – without a future and without a goal.
One of the prisoners, who on his arrival marched with a long column of new inmates from the station to the camp, told me later that he had felt as though he were marching at his own funeral. His life had seemed to him absolutely without future. He regarded it as over and done, as if he had already died. This feeling of lifelessness was intensified by other causes: in time, it was the limitlessness of the term of imprisonment which was most acutely felt; in space, the narrow limits of the prison. Anything outside the barbed wire became remote – out of reach and, in a way, unreal. The events and the people outside, all the normal life there, had a ghostly aspect for the prisoner. The outside life, that is, as much as he could see of it, appeared to him almost as it might have to a dead man who looked at it from another world.
A man who let himself decline because he could not see any future goal found himself occupied with retrospective thoughts. In a different connection, we have already spoken of the tendency to look into the past, to help make the present, with all its horrors, less real. But in robbing the present of its reality there lay a certain danger. It became easy to overlook the opportunities to make something positive of camp life, opportunities which really did exist. Regarding our “provisional existence” as unreal was in itself an important factor in causing the prisoners to lose their hold on life, everything in a way became pointless. Such people forgot that often it is just such an exceptionally difficult external situation which gives man the opportunity to grow spiritually beyond himself. Instead of taking the camp’s difficulties as a test of their inner strength, they did not take their life seriously and despised it as something as no consequence. They preferred to close their eyes and to live in the past. Life for such people became meaningless.
Naturally only a few people were capable of reaching great spiritual heights. But a few were given the chance to attain human greatness even through their apparent worldly failure and death, an accomplishment which in ordinary circumstances they would never have achieved. To the others of us, the mediocre and the half-hearted, the words of Bismarck could be applied: “Life is like being at the dentist. You always think the worst is still to come, and yet it is over already.” Varying this, we could say that most men in a concentration camp believed that the real opportunities of life had passed. Yet, in reality, there was an opportunity and a challenge. One could make a victory of those experiences, turning life into an inner triumph, or one could ignore the challenge and simply vegetate, as did a majority of the prisoners.
-#-

posted by dee3 @ 10:32, ,


love?
Monday, April 07, 2008

it sucks to be emotionally crippled. always needing a crutch. and that crutch is YOU.
-#-

posted by dee3 @ 12:14, ,