Greenie: TumBLinG doWn & sTumBLinG bY...

Cloudy reasoning

2012-01-28T01:00:00.003+08:00

I have always believed that in order to "know" someone, you'd need to know how the person thinks.
If you can "see" his thought process, then you can "predict" his reactions.
This is especially true when dealing with a superior at work, if you can get used to what angers the boss, then you'd avoid them, ya?

That being said, it is often easier to observe from afar.
When the "subject" in question is sharing the very roof that you're under (say a younger sister), then it is hard to be objective.

When emotions comes into play, there's always no objectivity.
Feelings clouds judgement, all the time.

That just sucks, doesn't it?
Being unable to control your emotions when things go wrong.
So does that imply that I am a control freak? NOT!

Hello 2012!

2012-01-28T00:15:00.006+08:00

Yes, hello. It's been awhile, hasn't it?

So what else is new but CNY has come (and not yet gone. Not until Chap Goh Mei, that is).
So what else is new but I haven't said a peep here since 2009.
So it's a 2-year hiatus, it is!

Many things said and done in that 2-years.
Many things that hurt and inspired in that 2-years.
Many straight roads, detours, U-turns, dead-ends in that 2-years.

But what matters is that we are still breathing, and amazed yet irritated by the events surrounding us.
And yes, that includes breaking down once-in-awhile to drown in our sorrows, until the time we decide that the sun is actually burning bright.

So what beckons in life is HOPE. FAITH. LOVE.
HOLDING ON. BRACING THE STORM.
LETTING GO.

Responsibilities can make us buckle, but consider the exercise on the shoulders, it should make it broader and stronger, no?

This year, I propose to properly and faithfully let go of the remnants of hurt left inside.
It doesn't do to keep the hurt welled up, it's not like I'm earning interest in FD.
It's not enriching me, and it may well increase the probability of early retirement 6 feet under.
So if what is required is to delete those no-good telephone numbers, then I will.

I am still the procrastinator that I am.
Oh well, you've gotta live with it. I have, for 34 years now.
Sigh. Mid-30s beckoning. More sigh.

For now, first book read for 2012 is Jostein Gaarder's "The Solitaire Mystery".
The question of which book do I like better compared to "Sophie's World", I can't answer.
Mystery is so well-written that it intertwines seamlessly, and I am amazed at his thought process in coming up with the plot and sub-plots. It must have been a difficult book to write *heh*methinks
World on the other hand... is so concise that I can just pick up the book and read from anywhere.

Oh well, not that I am a book reviewer, but I think that I should chronicles the books read.
For 2012.
And working backwards, I probably should cover 2011 and 2010 as well, to make up for lost time.

Isn't keeping your brain and thoughts active the way to age "gracefully"?
I digress.

So here's another HELLO!

2010 is coming...

2009-12-31T16:49:00.000+08:00

Live in the Present...
the Past can't be undone, the Future has yet to come.

As hard as it may be, I must.

whims or fancies?

2009-08-11T02:13:00.002+08:00

i deserve someone...

someone who is sincere in his feelings for me. someone who is sincere in wanting to be responsible for me...
its just that i havent met the person yet
i thought i did before, but it was all just a mirage
it looked better than it seemed. just an illusion.
so i learnt my lessons in love the hard way, by falling straight down
and it wasnt easy for me to give my heart out in the first place
it's not that i am bitter or resentful or angry
it's just that, time heals everything, but the scars remain
so this time around, i'll have to be on my guard even more

-#-

Osho: intuition: knowing beyond logic

2009-02-01T12:08:00.003+08:00

On Marriage
People go on avoiding marriage, people go on putting it off. When someday they find it impossible to get out of it, only then they relax. If you are outside it, it may look like a beautiful oasis in the desert - but as you come close, the oasis starts drying and disappearing. once you are caught in it, it is an imprisonment - but remember, the imprisonment doesn't come from the other, it comes from within you.

***
fear of marriage is fear of imprisonment, of no longer living life freely - as and when you want it.
fear of marriage stems from inwardly not wanting to commit and be responsible for the other.
fear of marriage is not wanting to conform to society and religious accountability in life.

*quote* Freedom only exists when love is present. The person who gives him or herself wholly, the person who feels freest, is the person who loves most wholeheartedly. *unquote*

*quote* We may not get what we wanted but we are in control of what we can do, and the outcome is not for us to decide. If we had one chance, whatever the outcome it may be or what we may presumed, let's not lose that one chance, for we may not have another. *unquote*

- I honestly can't remember where I got these from though!

-#-

2008, 2009

2009-01-02T03:40:00.003+08:00

happy new year!
may 2009 brings the contentment in life, the magnetized pull of money, the good well-being in health and the realization of correcting errors past.

2008:
a year full of trials.
full of sorrow.
full of unfulfilled promises.

a year of courage.
a year of tribulation.
a year of strength from within.
a year of realization.

a year of rally from people whom really cared.

i have learnt in 2008:
whatever that is murky will come to rise and will be seen. all it takes is patience.
no war can ever be won without winning battles.

note on battles and wars:
you don't have to win all battles. what's important is winning the war. (that's what they said).
but the battles are the foundation in assessing your strength to win the war. and that was where i slacked. i was content to lose battles because the bigger picture was winning the war. in the end: lost all the battles, and can't win the war either. hence: no war can ever be won without winning battles.

thank you for being, for bearing with me thus far.

-#-

IF by Rudyard Kipling

2008-12-09T11:18:00.003+08:00

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

***
This was my first thought when faced with the adversity of loss in July.
It helped me stay sane.
This poem just spells the will to hold on, to have faith, to progress.
It is truly an inspiration on its' own.

As hard, as broken, as tough, as painful... life is a pill that is bitter in the mouth.
To swallow is to progress. To spit out is giving up.
Life is.. undoubtedly, a pill that is bitter when it stays in the mouth.

-#-

alone. forlorn?

2008-11-17T10:57:00.006+08:00

alone?

been away from greenie for some time now, haven't i?
need to start picking up from where i left off. literally in the blogsphere, and in reality as well.

pictures says all, for the time being (perhaps).
pictures taken from national geographic 'international photography contest' / wallpaper / here

forlorn.

-#-

Viktor E. Frankl: Man’s Search For Meaning

2008-04-17T10:32:00.004+08:00

Nietzsche's words "He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how"

I was given this book by a kind man/blogger. Below are excerpts of meaningful passages, for contemplation.

My thoughts on it later.

On Love
Love goes very far beyond the physical person of the beloved. It finds its deepest meaning in his spiritual being, his inner self. Whether or not he is actually present, whether or not he is still alive at all, ceases somehow to be of importance.
I did not know whether my wife was still alive, and I had no means of finding out (during all my prison life there was no outgoing or incoming mail); but at that moment it ceased to matter. There was no need for me to know; nothing could touch the strength of my love, my thoughts, and the image of my beloved. Had I known then that my wife was dead, I think that I would still have given myself, undisturbed by that knowledge, to the contemplation of her image, and that my mental conversation with her would have been just as vivid and satisfying. “Set me like a seal upon thy heart, love is as strong as death.”

On Suffering
The attempt to develop a sense of humour and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick learned while mastering the art of living. Yet it is possible to practice the art of living even in a concentration camp, although suffering is omnipresent. To draw an analogy, a man’s suffering is similar to the behaviour of gas. If a certain quantity of gas is pumped into an empty chamber, it will fill the chamber completely and evenly, no matter how big the chamber. Thus suffering completely fills the human soul and conscious mind, no matter whether the suffering is great or little. Therefore the “size” of human suffering is absolutely relative.

On Living
The Latin word finis has two meanings: the end or the finish, and a goal to reach. A man who could not see the end of his “provisional existence” was not able to aim at an ultimate goal in life. He ceased living for the future, in contrast to a man in normal life. Therefore the whole structure of his inner life changed; signs of decay set in which we know from other areas of life. The unemployed worker, for example, is in a similar position. His existence has become provisional and in certain sense he cannot live for the future or aim at a goal. Research work done on unemployed miners has shown that they suffer from a peculiar sort of deformed time – inner time – which is a result of their unemployed state. Prisoners, too, suffered from this strange “time – experience”. In camp, a small time unit, a day, for example, filled with hourly torture and fatigue, appeared endless. A larger time unit, perhaps a week, seemed to pass very quickly. My comrades agreed when I said that in camp a day lasted longer than a week. How paradoxical was our time – experience! In this connection we are reminded of Thomas Mann’s The Magic Mountain, which contains some very pointed psychological remarks. Mann studies the spiritual development of people who are in an analogous psychological position, i.e. tuberculosis patients in a sanatorium who also know no date for their release. They experience a similar existence – without a future and without a goal.
One of the prisoners, who on his arrival marched with a long column of new inmates from the station to the camp, told me later that he had felt as though he were marching at his own funeral. His life had seemed to him absolutely without future. He regarded it as over and done, as if he had already died. This feeling of lifelessness was intensified by other causes: in time, it was the limitlessness of the term of imprisonment which was most acutely felt; in space, the narrow limits of the prison. Anything outside the barbed wire became remote – out of reach and, in a way, unreal. The events and the people outside, all the normal life there, had a ghostly aspect for the prisoner. The outside life, that is, as much as he could see of it, appeared to him almost as it might have to a dead man who looked at it from another world.
A man who let himself decline because he could not see any future goal found himself occupied with retrospective thoughts. In a different connection, we have already spoken of the tendency to look into the past, to help make the present, with all its horrors, less real. But in robbing the present of its reality there lay a certain danger. It became easy to overlook the opportunities to make something positive of camp life, opportunities which really did exist. Regarding our “provisional existence” as unreal was in itself an important factor in causing the prisoners to lose their hold on life, everything in a way became pointless. Such people forgot that often it is just such an exceptionally difficult external situation which gives man the opportunity to grow spiritually beyond himself. Instead of taking the camp’s difficulties as a test of their inner strength, they did not take their life seriously and despised it as something as no consequence. They preferred to close their eyes and to live in the past. Life for such people became meaningless.
Naturally only a few people were capable of reaching great spiritual heights. But a few were given the chance to attain human greatness even through their apparent worldly failure and death, an accomplishment which in ordinary circumstances they would never have achieved. To the others of us, the mediocre and the half-hearted, the words of Bismarck could be applied: “Life is like being at the dentist. You always think the worst is still to come, and yet it is over already.” Varying this, we could say that most men in a concentration camp believed that the real opportunities of life had passed. Yet, in reality, there was an opportunity and a challenge. One could make a victory of those experiences, turning life into an inner triumph, or one could ignore the challenge and simply vegetate, as did a majority of the prisoners.

-#-

love?

2008-04-07T12:14:00.000+08:00

it sucks to be emotionally crippled. always needing a crutch. and that crutch is YOU.

-#-

TRANSFER!!!

2008-03-07T17:22:00.002+08:00

am transferring back to kuching.
so now am reporting to HQ (which sucks, cos there's so much office politics there and you're kinda sucked in cos of the bosses). ergh.

more later! (i hope!)

-#-

till we ain't strangers anymore...

2007-12-18T10:47:00.000+08:00

i am not a big fan of bon jovi, in fact, i practically flinch away from his songs.
it's a wonder that i won bon jovi's lost highway cd from traffic on traxxfm which was previously known as radio 4.

so anyways, my feelings for bon jovi still basically remains the same... with one exception. i love this song!

it's a duet with LeAnn Rimes titled "Till We Ain't Strangers Anymore".

It might be hard to be lovers
But its harder to be friends
Baby pull down the covers
Its time you let me in
Maybe light a couple candles
I'll just go ahead and lock the door
If you just talk to me baby
Til we aint strangers anymore

Lay your head on my pillow
I sit beside you on the bed
Dont you think its time we say
Some things we havent said
It aint too late to get back to that place
Back to where, we thought it was before
Why dont you look at me
Til we aint strangers anymore

Sometimes its hard to love me
Sometimes its hard to love you too
I know its hard believing
That love can pull us through
It would be so easy
To live your life
With one foot out the door
Just hold me baby
Til we aint strangers anymore

Its hard to find forgivness
When we just run out of lies
Its hard to say youre sorry
When you cant tell wrong from right
It would be so easy
To spend your whole damn life
Just keeping score
So lets get down to it baby
There aint no need to lie

Tell me who you think you see
When you look into my eyes
Lets put our two hearts back together
And we'll leave the broken pieces on the floor
Make love with me baby
Til we aint strangers anymore

We're not strangers anymore
We're not strangers
We're not strangers anymore

hope u'll like it too!

-#-

The 48 Laws of Power

2007-12-03T15:42:00.000+08:00

The 48 Laws of Power – Robert Greene / a Joost Elffers book

never outshine the master
never put too much trust in friends, learn to use your enemies
conceal your intentions
always say less than necessary
so much depends on reputation – guard it with your life
court attention at all cost
get others to do the work for you, but always take the credit
make other people come to you – use bait if necessary
win through your actions, never through argument
infection : avoid the unhappy and unlucky
learn to keep people dependent on you
use selective honesty and generosity to disarm your victim
when asking for help, appeal to people’s self-interest
pose as a friend, work as a spy
crush your enemy totally
use absence to increase respect and honour
keep others in suspended terror: cultivate an air of unpredictability
do not build fortresses to protect yourself – isolation is dangerous
know who you’re dealing with – do not offend the wrong person
do not commit to anyone
play a sucker to catch a sucker – seem dumber than your mark
use the surrender tactic : transform weakness into power
concentrate your forces
play the perfect courier
re-create yourself
keep your hands clean
play on people’s need to believe to create a cultlike following
enter action with boldness
plan all the way to the end
make your accomplishments seem effortless
control the options : get others to play with the cards you deal
play to people’s fantasies
discover each man’s thumbscrew
be royal in your own fashion : act like a king to be treated like one
master the art of timing
disdain things you cannot have : ignoring them is the best revenge
create compelling spectacles
think as you like but behave like others
stir up waters to catch fish
despise the free lunch
avoid stepping into a great man’s shoes
strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter
work on the hearts and minds of others
disarm and infuriate with the mirror effect
preach the need for change, but never reform too much at once
never appear too perfect
do not go past the mark you aimed for; in victory, learn when to stop
assume formlessness

-#-

books: management / business?

2007-11-08T09:57:00.000+08:00

i was blog hopping, and i got this from a blog that i hopped to once in a while. got permission to "plagiarise" it further (haha) :p

i am not much of a management / business book reader.
i've only ever bought:

1. "how do you move mount fiji" by william poundstone, which, come to think of it, it's not a management book but more of an insightful book which actually highlights techniques on how to perform better on puzzle-type questions during interviews such as those carried out for Microsoft's recruitment.

2. "who moved my cheese" by dr. spencer johnson, which is like... over simplistic? patronising? as peter j o'malley says: simple is good, simplistic is stinky cheese

so now that i've been attending my PMP (project management professional) seminars, the maverick (who is ever so popular with his cakap tak serupa bikin blog, who conducts the classes has been pestering me to STOP reading fiction and move on to management / business books in order to expand (the mind, not the body!) and to widen the horizon in order to move up the ladder.

so off i went to buy two books 2 weeks ago (which i still havent started reading, mind you). he has a whole list of recommended books, which to me, the list is REALLY daunting!

those two books are:

1. "the no asshole rule" by dr. robert i sutton

2. "the richest man in babylon" by george s clason. unfortunately, bf came to visit me, took the book, wrapped it, and signed his own name on the inside cover. and his reason? "i need it more than you do. i'm making the money here". then proceeded to place the book in his bag. ergh (chauvinistic?) i still want the book back in order to read it lah!!!

so all these aside, do read on the 90/10 principle authored by stephen covey. may it provide insight!

The 90/10 Principle - By Stephen Covey
It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).
What is this principle?
10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean?
We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.
We cannot stop the car from breaking down.
The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off.
A driver may cut us off in traffic.
We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.

How? ……….By your reaction.
You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction.

Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.
What happens next will be determined by how you react.
You curse.
You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears.
After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows.
You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.
Your spouse must leave immediately for work.
You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.
Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.
After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.
When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why? …. Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is "D".

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.

Why?

Because of how you REACTED.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.
If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you!

React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off)

Do you curse?

Does your blood pressure skyrocket?

Do you try and bump them?

WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work?

Why let the cars ruin your drive.
Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.
The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.
The result?
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.

-#-

abuzz

2007-11-07T15:18:00.000+08:00

come UMNO's general assembly every year, people are abuzz with speculation of leaders / speakers on stage.. on their meaning, intonation, gestures, mind-set, innuendos, and the like.

regardless whether it's UMNO for the Malays, or MCA / Gerakan for the Chinese or MIC for the Indians, the fact remains the same... that it's the party for the race.

so does defending the rights, in uttering those words can also be seen as to ignite racial integrity in the race.. WRONG?
pro: FINE! keep talking about the same issue of rights the whole time but sitting on your butt all the same, and expecting things to work out your way. and dont forget the dramatical / theatrical effects while you're at it. after all, you have the stage and the chance to be aired on national televison.
con: FINE! so what if the other races are unhappy about what's being said or what actions has been taken?

so is it fine to instigate racial hatred?

the answer, in my mind is NO.

i've been toying with the idea since before 31.08.07 to write something about the soveriegnty of the country. of how our leaders of the pre and post-merdeka years build up the country by tackling the economy and social divide. and how i've always felt lucky since i was small (say 7 yrs old) that i am a malaysian (instead of other south-east asian countries). okay, so perhaps minus brunei.

but what has been done now?

why are we still not thinking along the lines of making malaysia for malaysians, instead of just standing and letting all opportunities of coming together in unity passes us by?

am i instigating something here?
No, am not.

i am just wishing that our leaders (for the time being) will have sense and decorum in instilling patriotism in the rakyat by making the rakyat realise that malaysia IS, for malaysians.

and also to take heed of statements regarding this, and not just throw the judiciary system away by letting it rot from within.

this, definitely... wont be achieved in an instant. so when's the mind-set gonna change?
not ever, i guess.

-#-

wow i didnt realise!

2007-10-09T16:20:00.000+08:00

ok, so i didn't realise that:

1. i have not blogged since early august.
2. thus that makes it more than two (2) months now since i've blogged.

however, i do know:

1. hari raya aidilfitri is around the corner.
2. thus my apologies goes out to whom i've somehow or rather hurt, snap at, bowled over and such.
3. being the unperfect person that i am, there are actually more to add on for item no.2, but i'll be darned if i need to list them out! hehe

therefore:
selamat hari raya, maaf zahir dan batin.
have a safe journey home with your loved ones.

ps. updates soon, insya-allah.

i guess...

2007-08-02T15:57:00.000+08:00

i guess:

being single is way much easier than being attached.
but when living life as a carefree single, there's always this bugging (not nagging) feeling that something's incomplete in life, about the need to belong, the feeling of belonging. what's missing is the sense of security. to be emotionally grounded.
i guess.

however, with emotional attachment... the grounded feeling taking root sometimes overwhelms. wholly and truly enveloping. not that it's bad, and neither is it good. it's just... that the heart sags with not knowing what the keeper of the heart is doing, or up to.

cant guess whether it's an absolute evil, or whether it's just ehm, i dunno.

relationships = highest of highs + lowest of lows + anything else in between

i guess!

-#-

from june to july

2007-07-24T11:00:00.000+08:00

much has happened.
been tested, tried and retested, retried again.
been emotionally drained and recharged again.
have just NOT been hung up to dry on the clothes line yet...

so how shall i list them out?

havent updated my resume yet. have procastinated successfully for more than 2 years now.
need to get around that SOON.
come to think of it, the due date was like... 2 years ago?
ehmmm...

perhaps i should reconsider to rename this post as 'things that makes you go ehmmmm....'

more updates soon. damn hungry now.

My house got broken into..

2007-06-15T15:29:00.000+08:00

Date : 14 June 2007, Thursday
Time (realised): 1220hrs

Pictures:

-#-

Saying...

2007-06-13T16:01:00.000+08:00

'People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go'.

-#-

tuesday at the movies...

2007-06-13T15:27:00.000+08:00

going home from work yesterday, i had a craving (YES! a craving)...

not for a cupcake, or mouth-watering chocolates, neither was it briyani, nor rojak, nor spaghetti... nothing related to food.

instead... my craving was to go to the movies. to watch a movie in the cinema.
(so alright, maybe craving is too big of a word to be used)

anyways, after work, i went home, did what was necessary, and left home by 6pm for the 7pm show. i figured i could reach the shopping complex by 6.20pm at the latest, and still had time to buy the ticket for the show. i was even ambitious enough to think that if i got there in record time (read: roads are clear the whole way, it's wishful thinking, i know)... then perhaps i could sneak a bite in pizza hut (and YES, pile on the pounds. instead of shedding the pounds, i'll be piling it on).
was still undecided whether to watch Ocean's 13 or Shrek 3. but had my sights more on O'13.

anyways.. i reached the counter by 6.20pm and there weren't anyone at the counter.
this should be good, right?
well.. so i went over (sauntered, more like). and the man-in-the-booth wouldn't sell me O'13 ticket. WHAT?! why ever NOT? because... in order to screen a movie, at least 4 tickets need to be sold.
ergh. it's not the decision that's absurd to me, but the scenario that ALL 4 theatres, showing different movies, did not have a single mark on the designated seating layout. not ONE ticket sold.
double ergh. wat more can i do but just hang around?
(but i didn't actually. i went around to the bowling alley area, and wound up buying an ice-cream to fill in the time. ah, more pounds on me!)
and more hanging around the ticket booth.

la di da.. la di da..
two guys and a lady came in work clothes. told them of my predicament, but they were just actually hanging around, looking at posters and such. (triple ergh).

la di da.. la di da.. la di da..
a couple came, went to the booth (and i was sooooo hopeful they'd be buying O'13). they're like, 18, 20 years old, kinda timid looking. and nope, they didnt buy O'13. went for shrek3 instead.
so moi... went for shrek too (had too, more like).

and the seats.. instead of being designated, went for free seating (it figures, right!)

but still i hung around for about 2 minutes, just in case.
people came, i became hopeful (cause the ticket seller said i could change my ticket to O'13 if they're screening the movie). but these people came to buy later shows.. and poof! all hope gone.

and the verdict on shrek3?
bland compared to parts 1 and 2, where i practically laughed my hearts out.
3 is totally uncomparable.. maybe cause mr. justin timberlake's in it? i dunno, his character in edison's kinda lame too. if there's a third movie where he's in (whether acting or voice-casting) and it's also lame, then go make your own assumption on wat i'm implying.

verdict?
lame movie-goers here in miri la.
damn kesian one.
how to revive the crowd? i dunno...

-#-

it's may already!

2007-05-21T09:08:00.000+08:00

ergh ergh ergh...

it's now may, and another two week it'll be june.

how time flies...
how things that are blurred, seems to take like eternity to clear up, takes awhile for the light to shine through.
fate and destiny, i guess, it does comes down to that.

insya-allah.

still on brains...

2007-03-13T09:49:00.000+08:00

i took another test / quiz on brains.
and the results differs from quiz 8, as there are more questions to the 2nd quiz:

The Brain Test

What Your Brain Says About How You Think and Learn

dee, you are Left-brained

Most left-brained people like you feel at ease in situations requiring verbal ability, attention to detail, and linear, analytical ability. Whether you know it or not, you are a much stronger written communicator than many, able to get your ideas across better than others.

It's also likely that you are methodical and efficient at many things that you do. You could also be good at math, particularly algebra, which is based on very strict rules that make sense to your logical mind.

Your Brain Type Report will describe how and why each of the responses you chose while answering the Brain Test revealed that you are Left-brained dominant. It's ready right now!

Sample Report

In your Brain Type Report:

Find out what your brain dominance says about how you think and learn
Discover whether you are a visual or aural learner
Understand why you are drawn to certain activities and hobbies
Learn ways to train your brain to make smart decisions in every situation

quiz taken from here

-#-

quiz 9

2007-03-09T10:25:00.000+08:00

quiz 9 is interesting, cause by answering one question differently, the outcome changed from this:

Your Career Personality: Idealistic, Service-Oriented, and Future-Oriented

Your Ideal Careers:

Alternative health practitioner
Architect
Environmental lawyer
Librarian
Magazine editor

Museum curator

Novelist
Nutritionist
Photo journalist
Playwright

to this!

Your Career Personality: Brainy, Logical, and Efficient

Your Ideal Careers:

Archeologist
Astronomer
Book editor
Business manager
Civil engineer
Designer
Economist
Inventor
Judge
Scientist

The Quick and Dirty Career Test

so which is more accurate, the first finding or the 2nd outcome?
consider too the actual job description i'm stuck in now :p

-#-

quiz 8

2007-03-09T10:23:00.000+08:00

You Are 35% Left Brained, 65% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.
Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.
Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.
Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.
If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.
Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

-#-

quiz 7 - day 2

2007-03-09T10:11:00.000+08:00

You Are 59% Impulsive

You're quite impulsive, but you never are reckless.
You qualify as a very spontaneous person, but you still know how to honor your commitments.
And while responsibility doesn't come easy to you, having fun does!

Are You Impulsive?

-#-

quiz 6

2007-03-08T16:54:00.000+08:00

You Are 60% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded.
Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints.
But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line.
You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

quiz 5

2007-03-08T16:47:00.000+08:00

quirk, noun
an unusual part of someone's personality or habit, or something that is strange and unexpected

quirky, adjective
unusual in an attractive and interesting way

[sourced from here]

Your Quirk Factor: 65%

You're so quirky, it's hard for you to tell the difference between quirky and normal.

No doubt about it, there's little about you that's "normal" or "average."

How Quirky Are You?

-#-

quiz 4

2007-03-08T16:39:00.000+08:00

wuuhuuuu!!!!

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a wanderer. You constantly long for a new adventure, challenge, or eve a completely different life.

You are a very grounded, responsible, and realistic person. People may not want to hear the truth from you, but they're going to get it.

You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you.

Your near future is calm, relaxing, and pretty much what you want. And it's something you've been anticipating for a while now.

For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

-#-

quiz 3

2007-03-08T16:37:00.001+08:00

Your Dominant Thinking Style: Experimenting

You're all about looking at the facts, and you could always use more of them.
You see life as your lab - and you're always trying out new things, people, and ideas.

The master of mix and match, you're always coming up with unique combinations.
You are good at getting a group to reach consensus.

What's Your Thinking Style?

quiz 2

2007-03-08T16:18:00.000+08:00

i thought that i'd be MORE spirited?

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ISFP)

Your personality type is caring, peaceful, artistic, and calm.

Only about 7% of all people have your personality, including 8% of all women and 6% of all men
You are Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

-#-

quiz 1

2007-03-08T16:05:00.000+08:00

open is, is as open gets :p

You Are 45% Open

You are a fairly open person, but you also like to maintain your privacy.
You definitely will tell all (okay, almost all) to your closest friends...
But strangers and acquaintances only get a peek into your life.

How Open Are You?

-#-

Tambak Johor : Ada Terowong Rahsia Di Bawahnya?

2007-03-05T10:40:00.000+08:00

ooohhh i just can't resist this entry, taken from here
conspiracy theory, apa lagi? :p

Di Bawah Tambak Johor Ada Terowong Rahsia?

Di bawah Tambak Johor ada satu terowong rahsia. Begitulah kata seorang penulis yang menggunakan nama pena Ketua Perusuh.

Kenyataan di atas terkandung dalam satu artikel yang berjodol Kenapa Johor? Artikel itu disiarkan oleh lamanweb marh@ein dan lamanweb ketua perusuh.

Kenyataan di atas sungguh menggemparkan. Adakah ianya benar? Adakah ianya sekadar satu imajinasi? Siapakah yang boleh mengesahkannya?

Apa pun, kenyataan di atas mengingatkan saya kepada kata-kata seorang sahabat saya di Johor Bahru yang saya muatkan dalam buku saya, Mahathir Menyinga, seperti berikut:

Malaysia kena siasat. Malaysia kena siasat betul-betul. Malaysia kena siasat betul-betul, apa pasal Singapura mati-mati enggan pecahkan Tambak Johor. Malaysia kena siasat betul-betul, kenapa Singapura enggan Tambak Johor digantikan dengan sebuah jambatan baru.

Apa ada di bawah tambak itu? Jangan-jangan di bawahnya ada terowong sulit. Entah - entah terowong sulit itu sudah tembus sampai ke Bandaraya Johor Bahru.

Kenyataan sahabat saya seperti di atas adalah hipotetikal. Hanya suatu andaian. Tetapi, Ketua Perusuh seolah-olah mengesahkan adaian berkenaan seperti berikut:

Umum mengetahui Tambak Johor hanyalah sebuah tambak penghubung. Namun sebenarnya pihak British ada menyediakan satu laluan khas di bawah tambak tersebut untuk memudahkan mereka melarikan diri jika berlakunya ancaman perang di Semenanjung Tanah Melayu.

Laluan in sudah lama, malah majoriti rakyat Malaysia tidak pernah tahu akan kewujudannya. Hanya pihak Singapura sahaja yang mengetahui akan lokasi sebenar serta pelan lakaran bagi laluan tersebut.

Mungkinkah Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohamad mengetahui kewujudan terowong rahsia ini? Mungkinkah hakikat ini yang jadi salah satu sebab strategik mengapa Tambak Johor mesti dipecah dan digantikan dengan sebuah jambatan?

Wisma Putera wajar menghubungi Singapura untuk mempastikan kewujudan terowong rahsia itu. Ini penting kerana kewujudan terowong inilah yang mungkin mendorong Singapura berdolak-dalik mengenai pembinaan sebuah jambatan untuk menggantikan Tambak Johor.

Pihak perisikan Malaysia pula wajar menyiasat kenyataan Ketua Perusuh seperti di atas. Kalau benar, hakikat kewujudan terowong rahsia ini perlulah didedahkan dengan segera. – Ruhanie Ahmad.

-#-

i thought i did...

2007-03-01T16:15:00.000+08:00

upon uploading my previous post, i've realised that i didn't update the blog in february 2007.
this'll make it twice that the blog wasn't updated (not that it matters much, i think), but i don't quite like empty spots that makes it jumps ahead.

it's like, jumping the gun!?
it's like, why the jump to the next month?
it's like... unexplainable?!

i honestly thought that i did update the blog in the month of feb. 07.

i have been idle that month, only not quite in the mood for updates.

not that a lot happened, nor that anything REALLY interesting happened (apart from my empty untenanted next - door neighbour's house being broken into by 3 boys between the age of 11-13, who managed to take down the split unit a/c before the company security came to barge into the house at about 10am on a thursday afternoon, i know this cause coincidentally on the day, i was asleep in the living room: on sick leave, and only awoke due to the shouting and commotion made by the security department... but wait! this happened in jan. 07! well, i was intending to blog about it in february as january was quite hectic).

ehmmm... and wasn't i going to blog about PM's visit to Miri and the company that i'm working for forced all staff to congregate at 7 am in order to be de bus-driven to the airport just to welcome PM to Miri?

or........ i could've related the PTD exam that i took, it'd be a miracle if i made it through the pre-entry exam to the next round of assessment (but from what i had heard, it's even more daunting. cause there's a 3km run, with a time limit. and i don't do running!)

ehmmm... guess i didn't heh
and yet this blog's about sharing and reviewing?
guess some rephrasing's in store!

come to think of it, i can just lie about the date.
after all, with the new blogger, post options enables one to change the time and date.
now THAT'S worth reviewing, right?
;p

-#-

ideas are pouring...

2007-03-01T15:07:00.000+08:00

it's been quite some time since i've actually updated my blog.
anyways, for today's update (and further action is required on MY part), here are the gist on what i intend to blog about (at a later date, and in no particular order):

1. i feel the need not only to enrich my pockets, but my life too
2. heroes - the tv series, and the comics
3.

my thoughts left me, i had more to write.
and *poof* it left me alone.
so i shall leave the no. 3 empty.
fair is... fair, i guess.

-#-

a month past

2007-01-27T10:17:00.000+08:00

today is my boss's last day in the office.

from the past entry to today, a lot of things has happened.
good and bad, all mixed in a salad bowl, but time's needed to sort the juice out, to see whether it's on the sour or tangy side.

will write more. i should.

-#-

dwindling...

2006-12-27T15:58:00.000+08:00

As the year dwindles to merely days before the new year begins, what has 2006 brought me?

First word that comes to the mind is despair.

Despair in how things are progressing, when people who promised change in themselves have not done so in coming to three years.
Despair when an offered hand is rejected and seen as the ultimate nemesis.
Despair when things turns rough, dying is seen as the salvation.
Despair which leads to depression, but having the need to overcome it.

What about the time in between the despair?

What has the laughter contributed, if the feeling of despair is always at bay; that it may be recalled up in a moments’ instance?
What is the soul’s salvation?
Where’s the break in the never-ending cycle?

Or can it merely be disappointment disguised as despair?
Or can these thoughts be a cry in the dark, presumably seeking a hand, a shoulder, an ear?

What’s portrayed on the outside isn’t a match to the turbulence on the inside.

Despair IS.. as despair is, I guess.

-#-

How time flies!!!

2006-12-27T15:36:00.000+08:00

Yes, time DO literally fly.

Lotsa things that could’ve been blogged, lotsa thoughts that could’ve been put to paper.
Lotsa angst that should’ve dissolved over time.
Lotsa angst still in the heart.
Lotsa old promises made but are still not kept.
Lotsa tears with intermittent spurs of laughter.
Lotsa anxiety still to be overcome.
Lotsa insecurities amid the show of bravado.

Lotsa hope for the future, else the soul will drown in sorrow…

It’s past Xmas, and another new year approaches.

Are we still gonna be stuck in the same old rut, or will the supposedly new year brings much changes? We’ll just have to see what the tide brings in, I guess.

-#-

overdue pictures

2006-11-10T10:40:00.000+08:00

pictures taken during trip to kl in sept. 06

met up with a friend who in turn brought me to see a senior / family friend whom have not met in nearly 20 years(?). our mothers are friends, and she practically saw me running around playing with her kid sister. anyways, here are some pictures we took:

hands united! and what's to be achieved here, then?

foot?... feet?.... kaki le tuh!

went through her bookcases whilst in her house. tried in vain to borrow some books, but she was adamant that i won't return them back. perhaps she should've read my entry on trying things out. anyways, after much coaxing, my consolation was this book:

image taken from amazon

well, one out of eight is better than nought!

-#-

things i heard...

2006-11-04T15:01:00.000+08:00

i came back to work from the raya break on wednesday, nov. 1 2006.

things i heard:

1. BOMBA's remark which infuriates me
a colleague's relatives' house burnt down during the raya break. it took BOMBA (the fire dept.) to reach the house in 2 hours time. the reason for the delay? they were afraid that it was a prank call. damn dubious, i tell you. with the sirens on, they should've reached the place in less than 10 mins. it's that near. so why show up if it's 2 hours later? why show up at all? what's the reasoning of showing up? the house is no longer standing.
and the fact that there's no empathy in their answer (read: darn lame excuse), what does that actually translate in the courtesy of civil servants?
it's like going to the doctor, and him saying:
"don't waste your time and money coming back for treatment. no drugs can help you now. you're dying" as opposed to "well, with the time left, it's best spent with your loved ones". it's the same message, only different in the delivery. and how much the better the person on the receiving end feels.
i know i MAY be over-reacting to the remarks (it's hearsay, anyways), but it angers me that a little consideration is nought. the person's house just burnt down, DURING the festive season! gosh, are you gonna die trying to be a wee bit considerate and sensitive to your remarks?
i really hope the family will leave a paper trail behind...
this family's BOMBA reception is surely different from this doctor's, i can bet!

2. my immediate superior is resigning
the consequences of him resigning is huge. he got promoted recently to head the department for the company's northern region from his previous post of project manager. the formalities of appointing the subsequent project manager for the next project was conducted before the raya break, which caused quite a stir with the team as most are opposed to the new man leading (but nought can be said about that, as we are merely worker ants dictated by the whims of the management *ha!*). so it's quite sudden, since he's resigning after being at the post less than a month.

3. the NEW project manager
hmmmm..... hhhhmmmmmm............. ehm...
what is there to say about someone who's nose is higher than the crocker mountain range in borneo. it's hard when you've seen the man in action at the worst his heart can offer (read: hati busuk).
damn, if this was in email form, it'd be a hate mail where there's liability to think about. 'nuff said.

4. telekom has not fixed the stolen cable which left our office without telecommunication / land line (read: phone, fax, internet connection)
it's either the third or fourth time our office has been rendered without telecommunication as the telekom cable was stolen from the pillar (located NOT at our site, thank goodness! think about how messy if it would've been if the pillar is near our site). and this time around, it happened a few days before 21.10.06 (deepavali) and by the time i returned on 01.11.06, the line's still down. good news? it got fixed yesterday.

5. tmnet connection is bad
both the streamyx and dial-up services have been shitty lately (shitty is used for lack of better-suited word. if it offends, then guess i'm sorry lah. i guess). been plaqued by bad tmnet connection since october 06.

well... with all the items stated, it's still not too late to wish everyone:
SELAMAT HARI RAYA, MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN.

the ending's kinda abrupt. i know.

-#-

ya... it's cheating!

2006-10-04T15:31:00.000+08:00

with reference to the title.. i'm gonna cheat.

instead of typing a proper entry, i'm merely gonna copy and paste the following, from en. bergen

An Article By An Atheist Jew

This article would be viewed as biased and one-side had it been written by a Muslim. Uri Avnery is an atheist, and a Jew. May Allah guide him to Islam.

I don't mean to sound like a cyber multi-level marketing guy, but spread this article around. It will do the world a lot of good.

Muhammad's Sword

By: Uri Avnery
27 September, 2006
Gush Shalom

Since the days when Roman Emperors threw Christians to the lions, the relations between the emperors and the heads of the church have undergone many changes.

Constantine the Great, who became Emperor in the year 306 - exactly 1700 years ago - encouraged the practice of Christianity in the empire, which included Palestine. Centuries later, the church split into an Eastern (Orthodox) and a Western (Catholic) part. In the West, the Bishop of Rome, who acquired the title of Pope, demanded that the Emperor accept his superiority.

The struggle between the Emperors and the Popes played a central role in European history and divided the peoples. It knew ups and downs. Some Emperors dismissed or expelled a Pope, some Popes dismissed or excommunicated an Emperor. One of the Emperors, Henry IV, "walked to Canossa", standing for three days barefoot in the snow in front of the Pope's castle, until the Pope deigned to annul his excommunication.

But there were times when Emperors and Popes lived in peace with each other. We are witnessing such a period today. Between the present Pope, Benedict XVI, and the present Emperor, George Bush II, there exists a wonderful harmony. Last week's speech by the Pope, which aroused a world-wide storm, went well with Bush's crusade against "Islamofascism", in the context of the "Clash of Civilizations".

IN HIS lecture at a German university, the 265th Pope described what he sees as a huge difference between Christianity and Islam: while Christianity is based on reason, Islam denies it. While Christians see the logic of God's actions, Muslims deny that there is any such logic in the actions of Allah.

As a Jewish atheist, I do not intend to enter the fray of this debate. It is much beyond my humble abilities to understand the logic of the Pope. But I cannot overlook one passage, which concerns me too, as an Israeli living near the fault-line of this "war of civilizations".

In order to prove the lack of reason in Islam, the Pope asserts that the prophet Muhammad ordered his followers to spread their religion by the sword. According to the Pope, that is unreasonable, because faith is born of the soul, not of the body. How can the sword influence the soul?

To support his case, the Pope quoted - of all people - a Byzantine Emperor, who belonged, of course, to the competing Eastern Church. At the end of the 14th century, the Emperor Manuel II Palaeologus told of a debate he had - or so he said (its occurrence is in doubt) - with an unnamed Persian Muslim scholar. In the heat of the argument, the Emperor (according to himself) flung the following words at his adversary:"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached".

These words give rise to three questions:

Why did the Emperor say them?
Are they true?
Why did the present Pope quote them?

WHEN MANUEL II wrote his treatise, he was the head of a dying empire. He assumed power in 1391, when only a few provinces of the once illustrious empire remained. These, too, were already under Turkish threat.

At that point in time, the Ottoman Turks had reached the banks of the Danube. They had conquered Bulgaria and the north of Greece, and had twice defeated relieving armies sent by Europe to save the Eastern Empire. On May 29, 1453, only a few years after Manuel's death, his capital, Constantinople (the present Istanbul) fell to the Turks, putting an end to the Empire that had lasted for more than a thousand years.

During his reign, Manuel made the rounds of the capitals of Europe in an attempt to drum up support. He promised to reunite the church. There is no doubt that he wrote his religious treatise in order to incite the Christian countries against the Turks and convince them to start a new crusade. The aim was practical, theology was serving politics.

In this sense, the quote serves exactly the requirements of the present Emperor, George Bush II. He, too, wants to unite the Christian world against the mainly Muslim "Axis of Evil". Moreover, the Turks are again knocking on the doors of Europe, this time peacefully. It is well known that the Pope supports the forces that object to the entry of Turkey into the European Union.

IS THERE any truth in Manuel's argument? The Pope himself threw in a word of caution. As a serious and renowned theologian, he could not afford to falsify written texts. Therefore, he admitted that the Qur'an specifically forbade the spreading of the faith by force. He quoted the second Sura, verse 256 (strangely fallible, for a pope, he meant verse 257) that say: "There must be no coercion in matters of faith".

How can one ignore such an unequivocal statement? The Pope simply argues that this commandment was laid down by theProphet when he was at the beginning of his career, still weak and powerless, but that later on he ordered the use of the sword in the service of the faith. Such an order does not exist in the Qur'an. True, Muhammad called for the use of the sword in his war against opposing tribes - Christian, Jewish and others - in Arabia, when he was building his state. But that was a political act, not a religious one; basically a fight for territory, not for the spreading of the faith.

Jesus said: "You will recognize them by their fruits." The treatment of other religions by Islam must be judged by a simple test: How did the Muslim rulers behave for more than a thousand years, when they had the power to "spread the faith by the sword"?

Well, they just did not.

For many centuries, the Muslims ruled Greece. Did the Greeks become Muslims? Did anyone even try to Islamize them? On the contrary, Christian Greeks held the highest positions in the Ottoman administration. The Bulgarians, Serbs, Romanians, Hungarians and other European nations lived at one time or another under Ottoman rule and clung to their Christian faith. Nobody compelled them to become Muslims and all of them remained devoutly Christian.

True, the Albanians did convert to Islam, and so did the Bosniaks. But nobody argues that they did this under duress. They adopted Islam in order to become favorites of the government and enjoy the fruits.

In 1099, the Crusaders conquered Jerusalem and massacred its Muslim and Jewish inhabitants indiscriminately, in the name of the gentle Jesus. At that time, 400 years into the occupation of Palestine by the Muslims, Christians were still the majority in the country. Throughout this long period, no effort was made to impose Islam on them. Only after the expulsion of the Crusaders from the country, did the majority of the inhabitants start to adopt the Arabic language and the Muslim faith - and they were the forefathers of most of today's Palestinians.

THERE IS no evidence whatsoever of any attempt to impose Islam on the Jews. As is well known, under Muslim rule the Jews of Spain enjoyed a bloom the like of which the Jews did not enjoy anywhere else until almost our time. Poets like Yehuda Halevy wrote in Arabic, as did the great Maimonides. In Muslim Spain, Jews were ministers, poets, and scientists. In Muslim Toledo, Christian, Jewish and Muslim scholars worked together and translated the ancient Greek philosophical and scientific texts. That was, indeed, the Golden Age. How would this have been possible, had the Prophet decreed the "spreading of the faith by the sword"?

What happened afterwards is even more telling. When the Catholics re-conquered Spain from the Muslims, they instituted a reign of religious terror. The Jews and the Muslims were presented with a cruel choice: to become Christians, to be massacred or to leave. And where did the hundreds of thousand of Jews, who refused to abandon their faith, escape? Almost all of them were received with open arms in the Muslim countries. The Sephardi ("Spanish") Jews settled all over the Muslim world, from Morocco in the west to Iraq in the east, from Bulgaria (then part of the Ottoman Empire) in the north to Sudan in the south. Nowhere were they persecuted. They knew nothing like the tortures of the Inquisition, the flames of the auto-da-fe, the pogroms, the terrible mass-expulsions that took place in almost all Christian countries, up to the Holocaust.

WHY? Because Islam expressly prohibited any persecution of the "peoples of the book". In Islamic society, a special place was reserved for Jews and Christians. They did not enjoy completely equal rights, but almost. They had to pay a special poll-tax, but were exempted from military service - a trade-off that was quite welcome to many Jews. It has been said that Muslim rulers frowned upon any attempt to convert Jews to Islam even by gentle persuasion - because it entailed the loss of taxes.

Every honest Jew who knows the history of his people cannot but feel a deep sense of gratitude to Islam, which has protected the Jews for fifty generations, while the Christian world persecuted the Jews and tried many times "by the sword" to get them to abandon their faith.

THE STORY about "spreading the faith by the sword" is an evil legend, one of the myths that grew up in Europe during the great wars against the Muslims - the reconquista of Spain by the Christians, the Crusades and the repulsion of the Turks, who almost conquered Vienna. I suspect that the German Pope, too, honestly believes in these fables. That means that the leader of the Catholic world, who is a Christian theologian in his own right, did not make the effort to study the history of other religions.

Why did he utter these words in public? And why now?

There is no escape from viewing them against the background of the new Crusade of Bush and his evangelist supporters, with his slogans of "Islamofascism" and the "Global War on Terrorism" - when "terrorism" has become a synonym for Muslims. For Bush's handlers, this is a cynical attempt to justify the domination of the world's oil resources. Not for the first time in history, a religious robe is spread to cover the nakedness of economic interests; not for the first time, a robbers' expedition becomes a Crusade.

The speech of the Pope blends into this effort. Who can foretell the dire consequences?

An Ode To A Blogger

2006-09-07T09:26:00.000+08:00

what compels me to write an ode, this time in the morning whilst at work, with a mountain-load of unfinished tasks and reports and a presentation due tomorrow?

well, for starters, the blog that i'm referring to is gonna be completely deleted in 3 days.
so should i name the blog? after all, it won't be in 'action' anymore later.
and it may not be your cup of tea either.

i don't have a list of blogger friends, but i do have a folder in the bookmarks which says: blogs i read. and it's not a long list either, only a few that i frequent. and fewer still that i choose or totally compels me to participate in leaving comments to. thus, to lose one, IS, a dismal fact.

the blog owner conveys her entrapment in a man's body as a freak. she says she's not normal.
but she's not a freak.
she's a human being with extra-ordinary emotions; leading and battling living life as we all do.
with complexity, with simplicity. for the good, for the bad. and with open out curses, joy and laughter, sorrow and pain.
with passion.

it saddens me that blogging is no longer in her heart, as she declares it; as she feels obligated to write about what others want to read.
is that why we blog? to provide reading material to other people online?
are we not sharing our trials and tribulation, the multi-faceted life, as and when it is required or within the comfort zone of sharing?

to me, what compels others to want to drop by a blog, it's like, having strangers who cares enough to want to drop by your house. to peep through the window and see you breathing and kicking. if you've somehow stumbled or fallen down, then perhaps to utter words of encouragement in order for you to pick up the pieces and move on. some say hello when they leave comments, whilst others are like the soft rustle of leaves when the wind blows that passes by in an afternoon breeze.

no matter what is written, it is always a source of inspiration and sweet surprise.
written in such way that it pique the emotions. it's heartfelt. it's real. it's not just talk and innuendoes. the sense of humour that comes with it.
emotions that readers are able to connect with, to feel them as the words flows gracefully over the page.

it's a gift:
being able to write feelings.
being able to pull the heartstrings.
being able to move the emotions of others.

and all these will only be a memory in the mind, a touch on the soul. a rememberance.

i truly honestly hope that when she recovers the feeling and the need to blog, i'll be able to cross her path again.

and crossing paths is not only with her, but with all other friends whom i've perhaps lost touch but are still dear in the heart.

this is my ode.
and my thanks for being who you are.

-#-

the trouble with mas...

2006-09-04T09:36:00.000+08:00

MAS: offering cheap fares through the internet.

MAS: bookings through the internet to be paid with credit card.

MAS: faulty and crappy gateway wont accept my credit card details, making the payment = fail!
(i've tried like, more than 10 times, with different credit cards, over a span of 2 weeks *and yes, i am dependent on them for the time being. debt consolidation is another issue altogether*)

darn. i'll have to go down to MAS office.
can't pay through the phone, as am buying a senior-citizens' ticket.
darn. it'll be a hassle to wait in an extremely long que in the MAS office. it's like, forever full of people. and everyone knows how crappy and long the line is THERE.

triple darn!

-#-

mozzilla = ok!

2006-09-01T10:26:00.000+08:00

have cleared the crappy formating which was earlier mentioned.
have omitted the previous song tab - link.
wanted to change the song, but there were too many pop-ups from the site.
(thus omission of the tab is better? sure it is! makes my life simpler *ha)

am in a foul mood this morning. darn.
too many loose ends, not enough loose change.
and anger in the heart too.

internet explorer vs. mozilla firefox

2006-08-02T15:18:00.000+08:00

i've started to use mozilla firefox yesterday.
the page sure looks odd (read: messy) compared to when it's viewed in IE.

ehmmmmm.....
have added a song clip, will change song when it befits *heh*
still cant get over the MF vs IE la...
(looks better in IE, i'd say)

-#-

crappy pos malaysia EMPLOYEE(s)?

2006-07-20T16:14:00.000+08:00

reasons for the title are as follows:

1. friend from bangi sent a parcel / package to me on saturday, 08.07.06 via registered mail.

2. registered mail supposed to be delivered to the address (at least i think so), but it wasn't.

3. from item 2, a collection slip was on my table at work ONLY on tuesday, 18.07.06 during lunch break (hence inter-connectivity with no.2 as well).

4. due to workload, could only collect the package from the GENERAL post office in town during lunch break today.

5. reached the post office at 1.30 pm, collected the package. was kinda astonished to see package wrapped with red present paper, with hearts as the background.

6. walked back to car, in the car, opened the package.

7. aaaiiiihhh? this is not what my friend was supposed to send me! can it be a joke? can it? the joke was something totally different, a gift from japan, perhaps?

8. hhhmmmm... how odd. let's call her.

9. phone call (while driving away from the post office):

friend: NO! i did NOT send you a package wrapped with red present paper. i wrapped the box with brown paper.

me: ehmmm... your address is not complete as well.... all it has is your name, then BANDAR BARU BANGI, SELANGOR. whereas my address is not as per what i sms-ed to you. and it sure doesn't look like your handwriting.

friend: i wrote the exact address you sms-ed me. ergghhh kena rembat! (ergghhh they took it!)

me: i'll head back to the post office, and find out what we can do.

friend: ok.

10. went back to the counter, the employee looked flustered and kept insisting the stupid red package is what my friend sent me. i kept telling him it's not. then i lifted the sticker... lo and behold! brown paper traces!

11. i think that he's not only flustered, but also exasperated with me. (heh, salah org la kalo tak boleh make a scene). i kept telling him, that i just want an address, or someone that i can lodge a complain with. after all, there's no hope of me getting the ORIGINAL package, and neither is there any hope of my friend receiving it back. so all i wanna do is lodge a complain, so there'll be a paper trail (at the very least). after all, only with the formal complaints will pos malaysia be able to do something about it, right?

12. so he gave me two telephone numbers to call after 2 pm. i asked for an address so that i can write a formal complain, but he kept insisting on the phone call. so ok, i left with the numbers.

13. around 2.15-ish i called the first number. i explained the situation and the person who answered the phone gave me another number to call (how typical, right?). the phone call lasted less than 5 minutes, i think.

14. called the 2nd number. spoke to a lady, who sounded quite patient and wanted to see the package (read: so need to go to her office). she gave directions.

15. me decided to go, workload can still wait. (hah!)

16. reached her office. retold story (damn crappy la having to keep retelling it). story being: swapped packages. she checked, then asked her officer / sub-ordinate to weigh the package.

17. (should have written this first) the inconsistencies and dubious nature of the package:
a. Package content (duh! so obvious)
b. Package wrapping
c. Package handwriting / addresses
d. Postage stamp (original was rm 4 + whilst the stupid red package was only rm 2.70)
e. Sticker ripped from original package. Traces of brown paper evident
f. No postage mark

18. so from item 16, the weight of the package only amounted to rm 1 postage. and only then noticed that sender's address was written as: bandar baru bangi, PETALING JAYA, selangor.

19. so from item 18, it's clear-cut and evident to the lady & her staff that the package was swapped. she kept saying that it can be in her department in miri (tho)...

20. she doesn't have an address where i can write a complain to either. she kept trying to call someone on the phone, but couldn't get thru. No fax number either.

21. they're saying that the package was swapped in the post office she sent the package. errrhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm................

22. so moral of the story? am gonna send back the stupid red package to friend in bangi. it's up to her to create a scene (or not) at the post office she sent the package..

23. the title crappy pos malaysia EMPLOYEE(s)? only refers to the people doing the swapping. [crap, man]

24. and just what was in the package? looky here:

(and just what am i supposed to do with 10 chopsticks? eat much more than what i'm eating now? *said in joking manner to friend in the 1st conversation upon opening the stupid red package*)

shouldn't all packages be wrapped in either brown paper or plain white paper? and for bigger parcels to be tied with string?

and does anyone know where i can leave a paper trail at?

and all amidst this situation, am moderately calm.

told friend: depa rip off kite banyak ni je, nanti bila kite rip off org lain biar juta-juta!

(they ripped us off only this much, when we rip off others, let it be in millions!)hah!

on another note, can always try and 'hitch' up with a tan sri. THEN rip off the tan sri. heh!

(will. not. do. those. ripping. off. scenarios. even. if. opportunity. ever. presents. itself)

-#-

Change in Blog Layout

2006-06-22T17:17:00.000+08:00

Just felt that it's appropriate for a blog layout change, kinda felt the old lime green stiffling somehow.

Have added links at the top to Air Asia and MAS, for those planning trips via these two air carriers then click on lah! Having said THAT, NOPE, am NOT paid anything to advertise them. No commission la :(

Not that it matters anyways. Merely for ease, in actual fact.
(I'm rambling off the block here, I'm aware of that fact, thank YOU!)

ERrrrr.... Heard that come August, the schedule of flight between Kuching - Miri is much affected due to the cutting of MAS domestic route. And guess just who will be affected? :p

Ehmmm... will certainly be hard to juggle lah! AirAsia only flies one flight per day from Kch - Myy and vice versa, and that's at 1630hrs. Who in their right mind WILL be able to catch the flights, I wonder? People are working laaaaaahhhhh!

Ehhhmmmppphhh!

-#-

aquaria klcc pics

2006-06-13T09:29:00.000+08:00

fishes and undersea cretins from aquaria klcc

note: please don't go there during school holidays. it ain't fun. trust me. :p

I wanna go camping....

2006-06-12T16:18:00.000+08:00

It's been so long since I've last gone camping. Let's see now, when was it? I think it was sometime in 2000 or 2001. Gosh! That's so long ago!

Pictures courtesy of En. Bato S who went back to Long Lellang early June 2006

Called up a friend, S, who arranged a lot of outdoors trip back in uni.
(Dialogue translated from Malay to English)

Me: I wanna go camping!
S: When?
Me: I dunno, anytime also can. Been too long lah
S: (chuckles) You still have leave left?
Me: Ehm.. yaa… But it's favourable if there's a public holiday slotted in between
S: This July...
Me: This July? There's no public holiday?!
S: This July, Setiawan's getting married
(Setiawan is a friend of ours. Not his real name, known as such cause he's from a place called Setiawan)
Me: Oh. He didn't tell me
S: Anyway, we'll see how. Now that everyone's married, kids will be in tow
Me: Ehm… If there's a trip planned which doesn't involve climbing a mountain, which involves only camping, then I'm game. Let me know ya
S: K

After conversation with S, proceeded to call Setiawan.
He's supposed to get married this 02.07.06, but the 'duit hantaran' (dowry) is still with his boss. Apparently boss won't pay up money owed to him *sigh*

Anyways, it was looking at pictures that En. Bato took which spurred this craving to go camping. If kayak is thrown in, then all the more better! (Though stamina will definitely be lacking). And here are a few more pictures to feast on, enjoy! :)

-#-

Suara katak + saman dek polis

2006-06-09T11:04:00.000+08:00

Hari Rabu bangun pagi dengan tekak yang amat perit.
Suara pun menjadi suara katak. Kejap ada, kejap takde.
Ingatkan dehydration + tidur ternganga = tekak (kering + perit)

So pegi la supermarket and beli buah2an dengan banyak sekali, dengan harapan bahawa gorging on fruits will provide nourishment in Vitamin C dan seterusnya membuat tekak semakin baik. Di samping itu, turut membeli 'kawan nelayan-nelayan' yang kononnya 'sugar-free'. Tak caya langsung la bab2 sugar free nih...
Towards the end of the day, suara tetap seperti katak walaupun keperitan itu sekejap ada, sekejap takde...

Anyways, pagi Khamis bangun tidur, tekak semakin perit, hidung tersumbat menyebabkan ada sedikit kesusahan bernafas melalui hidung. Cek suara. Ehm. Katak lagi yang keluar. Batuk2 masa sampai di tempat kerja… Ha! Sah le memang flu! Masalahnya... Flu yang terbantut!

So day end at work, kasitau la kat boss nak go on sick leave. Had to bring back work home (kalo tak, gerenti kena tanya kerja leh siap ke idak by next week. Haram jadahnya le nak siap kalo tak bawak balik). So bergumbira la sikit sebab Friday tak yah kerja. Saturday tu kena tengok le cemana (YES we work full days from Mondays to Saturdays, all year long with exception only to public holidays). Sikit je bergumbira nya pon...

Jarak perjalanan di antara rumah dan tempat kerja, adalah kira-kira 3-5 km, with one junction. Maka disebabkan jarak yang dekat dan lebih 1 ½ tahun di sini, memang takde la sekatan polis ke jpj ke on the way to work place tu. Makanya… tali pinggang keselamatan memang jarang-jarang pakai la. (Pergh! Ayat BM sungguh!) Pengakuan nih! Then… jeng jeng jeng… tak perasan kira-kira 300 m dari junction tu.. POLIS la!

ALAMAK! Cepat-cepat tarik seat belt, polis nampak la pulak. Chet! Kena tahan la pulak. Polis tu pakai badge 'Saya Anti-Rasuah'. Kasi driving license. Polis tu boleh cakap gambo tak clear, so mintak IC pulak. So kasi la. Sambil menerangkan bahawa tempat kerja dan rumah tak jauh, pastu demam nak pegi klinik… mintak maaf la tak pakai seat belt. Pastu dia bising2 then mumbles, and pegi kat belakang kereta. Ada la ½ minit, while conferring with the other policeman. Sambil tu, belek-belek buku saman… ALAMAK (lagi)… takkan kena saman kot!

So dengan suara katak.. menjerit (tapi suara tak kuar) kat polis tu:

Me: Nak kena saman ke?
Polis: Ha ah. Saman le.
Me: Alamak! Jangan la saman! (sambil tangan macam ada la mengilai-ngilai skit, pastu tepuk dahi skit, sambil mumbles chet! Kena saman la pulak. Apa daaaaa)

So what else can i do. The policeman strutted over, handed my driving license and IC back to me, pastu marah2. I was like… huh? Tapi moral of the story: tak le kena saman (syukur.. nasib baik).. Si pak polis yang kasi balik lesen tuh marah2 lagi, and walked off, while the other policeman whom he was conferring with earlier came over. Tanya-tanya la.. (Dialog di bawah ini telah ditranslatekan daripada Bahasa Melayu Sarawak ke Bahasa Melayu)

Polis2: Opis kat mana?
Me: Tak jauh la kat sana je (sambil tunjuk ke kanan). Rumah pulak: tu, kat depan tu jek (sambil tunjuk depan)
Polis2: Kalau nak beli rumah, kena pegi opis mana?
Me: Kena pegi opis kat bandar tu ha
Polis2: Oooh, yang dekat waterfront tu ye?
Me: Ha ah
Polis2: Jadi kalo beli rumah, loan semua orang kat opis tu leh settlekan?
Me: Ha ah. Depa buat semua, kalo nak withdraw EPF ke ape, depa buatkan la yang patut. Sales department yang handle
Polis2: Orang mana?
Me: Orang Kuching
Polis2: Lama dah kat sini?
Me: Nak masuk 2 tahun dah
Polis2: Saya pon nak masuk 2 tahun dok kat sini. Kamu kat Kuching dok mana?
Me: Dulu kat Batu Lintang, sekarang kat BDC. Kat Kuching kat ne pulak?
Polis2: Kat Kampung Gita
Me: Oooohh.. Skarang tanah kat situ dah mahal dah
Polis2: So dok Miri ni, sewa rumah ke?
Me: Tak, dok rumah kompeni
Polis2: Berapa ramai?
Me: Dok sorang
Polis2: Dok sorang? Tak takut hantu ke?
Me: Tawakkal je
Polis2: Dok sorang? (soalan sama lagi)
Me: Ha ah. Dok sorang
Polis2: So makan masak sendiri ke?
Me: Ha ah. Tapi kalo penat, pegi tapau food la
Polis2: Kamu ni mesti hari2 tak pakai seat belt nih
Me: (Menyengeh, and in a small katak voice) ha ah
Polis2: Ni kena belanja makan nih
Me: Oh ok! Takde masalah. Emart kan dekat (Tunjuk kea rah north-east)
Polis2: Ha, bak mai nombor fon
Me: (Kasik la nombor fon, sambil terpikir, nak menipu ke? Ehm, tak payah la menipu. Kasik je la yang betol) 01x1234567 (and kasi nama). Nama sapa?
Polis2: (Adjust name tag yang terlindung oleh belt kat dada dia, and tunjuk2 skit)... Saya pon dok sorang kat Miri ni. Dok kat flat polis in town
Me: (HUH?)
Polis2: (Belek-belek kertas dia)
Me: (Mati kutu nak save diri sendiri) So bila pencen?
Polis2: (Walking away sikit) 2010.
Me: Oh patutlah tak bawak family sama ke Miri. 4 tahun jek
Polis2: (Senyap)
Me: (Think dee, THINK! Exit now la!) so makasih la... (senyum skit, drove off)

Haa… begitu la cerita nya. Kalo Polis2 betol-betol call, I keluar lah belanja dia makan. Apa sangat la pon.... kalo compare kena saman.

Yang penting: budi bicara? Kihkihkih.

Yang paling tak best bila time cuti nih: tetap bangun awal macam nak pegi kerja. Biological clock. Ehm. But that gave me time to update the blog, I guess.

-#-

aquaria klcc... here i come!

2006-05-27T09:06:00.000+08:00

wooohhhoooooo......

am sooooo looking forward to going to aquaria klcc on monday afternoon.
hope my excitement won't just be based on a hyped-up 'going places' article. hehe.

but in any event... bestnya nak pegi aquaria klcc :D

pictures featured are from this website (click here).

pictures are not from the 'going places' magazine nor are they related to the article i was referring to. heh.

ooohhh....
i'll post up some pictures after my visit to AQUARIA KLCC *yay!*

will be back online after 5th June.
till then, take care, peeps!

ps. i know the cikgu (part 3) is still outstanding. will work on it soon. i hope hihi
pps. aaiiyeee... enthuasism sangat macam budak²!

-#-

cikgu (part 2)

2006-05-22T11:57:00.000+08:00

received confirmation via sms that it's ok for me to share my conversation with the teacher friend. however, need to edit the obivous names and tell-tale facts... so part three will be along soon. :) till then, it's a rainy monday here in miri.

cikgu

2006-05-22T11:55:00.000+08:00

The joys of being a teacher (as learnt from a friend on Saturday night).

I had a good chat with a friend over the internet, who is a teacher in a secondary school last Saturday night.

There are lots of pitfalls befalling the teaching profession nowadays, as more attacks are rendered upon the teachers, and they are forced to defend the profession. I won’t give my opinion on this matter, as it is much too sensitive, much too complicated, and way too long that I won’t be able to articulate it well (I think).

Suffice to say, I can only say this: teachers are human.
Teachers are prone to human fallacy, but they have to uphold the teaching profession.
The teaching profession to come first and foremost before baring the human fallacy.
It was the teachers in the pre-Malaysia days who made a big impact, who were the driving force behind our Independence.
It’s the teachers who taught us, regardless whether it was in a shitty way or not.
Regardless whether we grumbled or complained or weren’t happy with how they treated us as students when we were somehow rebelling against the education system… Or how bad we thought their teaching method was (I can even name the teachers from 10-15 years ago who fell into this category today heh)

They need to know what’s in their heart, what makes them BE a teacher.
To save and salvage the teaching profession…. To bring it back to the glory days, to be in a high moral standing.

It’s way past Teacher’s Day, but I’d like to wish it to the teachers out there anyway.

I am digressing from the topic actually.

My dear friend, whom I cannot name, is enjoying herself in school.
Aahh… flirting with a certain particular student is definitely fun, ain’t it?

Come to think of it, any flirting opportunity (in which the comfort zone is not breached – read: the person that you flirts with won’t seriously pursue you afterwards) is good. As we get older, this opportunity presents itself less and less.

So this dear friend of mine is definitely motivated by the student who’s not even in her class.
Just a glimpse, just a smile, just a nod would make her day.
What else to have the student’s aunt as a colleague, keeping an eye shut (the aunt is sure a good sport!) to the obvious.
Well… this is Malaysia, after all….. Nothing would come up from flirting with students (I know my friend won’t anyways. Can’t say about the teacher who was caught in Kuching… that’s a whole different issue after all).

Back to my friend, I am sure the student’s having the time of his life too.
After leaving school for college / uni, I am sure he’ll be telling his circle of friends then about the crush he had on this teacher who didn’t even teach him.
The tell-tale signs of not knowing what actually is going on, the confusion, the heart skipping a little, beating faster… that’ll phase out in time.

Unless of course, my dear friend is able to wait, say another 8 years for him to finish studying, to get himself a job, to basically grow up….. AND ponder about his THEN school crush? That sure sounds like in the movies, eh?

Oi! Stop dreaming ah friend! :p

And so my dear teacher friend, whom will eventually read this entry, please be so kind as to correct any grammatical mistakes I have made. I know it may be irritating to you (heh). Can’t be avoided…

So how to end this entry?
Why…. Have fun flirting la! ;p

setback... ye ke?

2006-05-22T11:51:00.000+08:00

WHAT minor setback?

This entry is dedicated to my 20-cents worth of thought reflecting the recent Sarawak elections, in which 9 seats were lost to the opposition.

The news on both television and radio kept quoting the PM (or was it the Deputy PM?) to ‘investigate’ the causes and reasons why the 9 seats, in which primarily urban (Chinese) seats were lost.

In my humble opinion, the voters are smart.
The seats lost were mostly (if not all?) Chinese based.
Thus, the mentality of the voters would affect the winner.
The winner would have to work hard for the constituency and be kept on the edge of his seat to perform well (in order to be reelected the next polls).
There are no guarantees that any single party would win the seat contested, it’s never a sure win.

The last parliamentary elections, the ruling party won the Batu Lintang seat by 1000+ majority (that’s where I voted, by the way). Who would have thought they’d lose the State seat? And this is smart as well, right? They’re represented by the ruling party in the parliament, but they’re able to make a difference in the State DUN.

So it’s a swing, a pendulum.

And this is good. I mean, to a certain extent, it’s just one term. So I’m being liberal, but with a few seats, at the very least there’s some sort of check and balance system, right?

That is why I applaud the Backbenchers / shadow government in the UK. So ok, all I know about it is the impression I got from reading Jeffrey archer’s book when I was in my teens. Why? Cause the check and balance that can be achieved. The critiques will at least try to fix whatever it was they criticized in the first place (me being the optimist here).

That being said, to me, as a Sarawakian Malay, politics is dead.
The mechanism of Malay issues, of Malay fights are no longer there.
The spirit of it all. I don’t see it, neither do I feel it!
By stating all this, I am way over the line, way over my head. But what the heck, I’m feeling reckless tonight. The last I saw of ‘fight’ in the Sarawak political scene was when I was a kid in the 1987 elections which came about from the Ming-Court debacle.

I don’t belong in any political party.
I believe in voting.
It’s a hard-earned right which came with our Independence.
But politics? Seriously, to me it’s dead.

And why 20-cents worth of thought in this matter?
Heck, it’s definitely more than the usual 2-cents!

-#-

takde karan kat opis sepagi ini...

2006-05-22T11:36:00.000+08:00

ehem!

hari ini aku nak tulis entry dalam bahasa melayu. .. walaupun bukan BM yang bak buku teks, tapi comprehensible dengan bahasa rojak. ala-ala conversation in real life ah :p

sebabnya?
saja.
tak pernah tulis entry di dalam bahasa ibunda, terasa 'terpanggil' pulak hari ini.
bukankah lebih baik memulakan pagi isnin dengan suatu kelainan?

akan tetapi, kelainan yang lebih 'bermakna' adalah tidak mempunyai bekalan elektrik (read: karan... read: electricity supply) pada pukul 7.30 pagi tatkala tiba di opis. aduuuhhh! banyak la kerja tergendala. dah la cuti minggu depan! kang kerja tak siap kang, sia2 kena dek hand grenade dari boss. berlambak2 yang tak siap lagi nih!

dekat kol 11 pagi baru karan back on.
pagi tadi sebenarnya rancang nak upload blog entry that i wrote last night. malam tadi tulis, tapi entah kenapa tak nak upload. so pagi tadi la patutnya.

alih2 la ni pon tak upload lagi...
tulih pulak pasal takdak karan no?

-#-

it's a good day...

2006-04-26T17:17:00.000+08:00

it's a good day today, due to it being a good music day.

and what describes it being a good music day?
why... singing along to the songs, of course!
(aiyooo... in the office some more... banyak kurang malu aaaaa hehehe but not ALL out loud, for some i was just humming heh)

and what was on my playlist today?
mostly old tracks, and some other stuff in between.
ah! so me being the promoter of music that made me happy inside today, are as follows:

1. playlist from empire records soundtrack:
aaa a. lustre - nic
aaa b. the meices - ready steady go
aaa c. ape hangers - i don't want to live today
aaa d. edwyn collins - a girl like you
aaa e. cracker - whole lotta trouble
aaa f. better than ezra - circle of friends
aaa g. the cranberries - liar
2. korn - word up
3. toad the wet sproket: - good intentions, all i want
4. gin blossoms: - as long as it matters, found out about you,
4. gin blossoms: - til i hear it from you
5. hootie & the blowfish: - let her cry, hold my hand
6. lemonheads: - into your arms, allison's starting to happen,
6. lemonheads: - if i could talk i'd tell you, it's a shame about ray
7. alleycats - jika kau bercinta lagi
8. flop poppy - jika kau bercinta lagi
9. m. nasir: - suatu masa, srikandi cintaku
10. OAG: - 60's TV, knocked silly, name of the game, slumber,
10. OAG: - akustatik
11. rolling stones: - you can't always get what you want,
11. rolling stones: - time is on my side
12. INXS - vegas
13. billy myers - kiss the rain
14. rossa - pudar
15. gem - they
16. hi-five - never should've let you go

(list is not to chronological order)

and why am i telling all this on the net?
don't think anybody'd care, right?...
uh uh free promotion for the songs, perhaps?
i have no idea.
am just hoping that music'll have a good effect on your day, and night, and whatever time in between. play music to your own listening pleasure, ya?

cheers!

ps. may it be a good week :)

-#-

pudar

2006-04-26T17:08:00.000+08:00

infectious indonesian song:

PUDAR
artist - Rossa
lyricist unknown, wasn't stated from http://www.ilirik.com/rossa_--_pudar.html

Kurasakan pudar dalam hatiku
Rasa cinta yang ada untuk dirimu
Ku lelah dan yang semua yang ada
Ingin ku lepas semua

Sepenggalan hati untuk bicara
Bagaimana kalau ku selingkuh saja
Ku punya banyak teman lelaki
Sepertinya ku kan bahagia

Mestinya kau cari pengganti diriku saja
Karena kita sudah tak saling bicara
Pastikan cerita tentang cinta yang telah lalu
Hanya ada dalam ingatan hatimu

Maafkan aku jika kau kecewa
Cintamu bukanlah untuk diriku
Jika memang semua kan jadi cerita
Ku tau kau semakin terluka

Books GALORE!

2006-04-15T20:31:00.000+08:00

books to read, in no particular order:

1. the time traveller's wife (by audrey niffenegger)
2. olivia joules and the overactive imagination (by helen fielding)
3. catch-22 (by joseph heller)
4. the autograph man (by zadie smith)
5. the double (by fyodor dostoevsky)
6. the complete novels (by george orwell)
- comprising: animal farm, burmese days, a clergyman's daughter, coming up for air, keep the aspidistra flying, nineteen eighty-four
7. confessions of an english opium-eater (by thomas de quincey)
8. the mind gym (by the mind gym)
9. republic (by plato - english translation, of course)

books read this week, in a day during maulud nabi:
1. harry potter and the half-blood prince (by j.k rowling)

books read in march: nil

books last read: months back lah!

need to find time to read the books, been distracted the last few months.
and i really need to start reading malay books again. been too long.

-#-

It never fails to rain...

2006-04-10T16:31:00.000+08:00

It never fails to rain...

... when you have a heavy washing load to dry on the line

... when you had just washed your car

and

... when ... whenever else....

that being said, i DO love the rain
(except of course, when the kilat / petir sabung-menyabung)

the rain tip-tapping on the roof,
washing away the dirt on the street,
keeping the green fresh and alive,
the crisp air after the rain....

being curdled up in bed or sofa,
watching tv or reading a book,
with blanket covering you up,
keeping you snug and warm...

the serenity and calm after the rain...

ps. it is RAIN.
not drizzle or any other sorta short spurt of water released from the cloud.

-#-

february...

2006-02-28T08:56:00.000+08:00

february... my take on it:

february 2006 is bad.
hectic beyond comprehension.
streneous, scrambling weeks.
dead-lines popping up.
strained breathing, heads aching.

any semblance of routine: non-existent!

so i guess it all adds up
to a month of pain!

-#-

What A Riot! Commotion: Live On National Television!

2006-01-26T23:09:00.000+08:00

hehehe

i had a good laugh.
a seriously good laugh tonight.
at approximately 2232 hrs.

most thursday evenings, due to lack of anything else to watch on tv, i’ll usually tune into the tv programme “Malaysia's Most Beautiful”.

and i’ll usually be either:
a. flabbergasted at the antics of the participants / contestants
b. shocked at the contestant's vanity
c. amazed at the back-stabbing reality shown on tv *ha!* and cat-fights too!
d. having a good time hearing the judges comments & seeing their disgruntled faces (perhaps they can’t believe the values portrayed by the participants themselves)

with the a, b, c & d stated above, i’d like to reiterate that it’s not a show that i must absolutely watch. it’s definitely not a show that i enjoy, but just to multi-task between reading or cross-stitch and having the company and sound of the tv filling in the void (and not having to pay any real attention to anything that’s said)… anyways, sometimes it’s good for a laugh, and lack of any documentaries, movies, and what-ever else that the tv can provide, well, that’s okay by me (read: multi-tasking).

so that’s the intro.
now: the juicy bit.

tonight was the finale of the said programme. i missed the first 15 minutes (totally forgot about it). anyways, la di da… la di da… the usual feelings whilst watching resurfacing. and actually rooting for one of the girls, cause i think she’s real as compared to the other contestant – who’s so fake that admittedly, i sometimes cringe at what she actually says and how she says it on tv (am only rooting for the girl at home, no votes via sms sent. not an avid supporter of the programme to wanna vote. truly). then came the results: the girl i rooted for actually won!

that’s not the funny part.
it’s the commotion that followed was what prompted me to blog away…

see, after she was named as the winner, the other contestants rushed up on stage to hug her, congratulate her. normal, right? YES. the no. 2 girl (whom actually bragged via clip shown that she’ll definitely win as she’s the most beautiful, both inner and outer…), well, she was just left standing beside the host, clapping half-heartedly one moment, and looking stunned the next.

nope, that didn’t make me laugh.

so what did?

during the commotion, the family members of the girl who won… they clamoured as well to get on the stage to hug the winner. total commotion on stage. host got slightly agitated, and asked them to leave the stage, as it’s live television and there’s no time and room (something of the sort, broadcasted). so prompted first laughter.

the best part came from the judges.
the camera zoomed in to the judges’ reactions after the family members rushed on stage…. they were shocked that they were rendered speechless! no words uttered among themselves, guess they couldn't believe their eyes.
their reaction…. priceless!

hehe to quote Mastercard’s advertisement again:
what money can’t buy: priceless!

thus, thanks to the programme, here i am wide awake due to the judges’ reactions where during the past 2 hours i was sleepy and slightly groggy….

:D

ps. the concept and idea of the programme should be applauded. idealistic. but having to find people to fill in the shoes… well that’s a big task and may season 2 be better…. (if any!)

-#-

out & through

2006-01-25T23:48:00.000+08:00

life is about compromise.
life is about working things out, and working things through...

but sure is hard to do!

the month with three new year(s)!

2006-01-21T22:45:00.000+08:00

as a friend reminded me, no new blog post for awhile now.

so here it is, me stating the fact that THIS is the month with three new year(s)!

01 Jan 06 - traditional in the sense of things
29 Jan 06 - the ushering of the year of the dog for the Chinese calendar
31 Jan 06 - Maal Hijrah 1427H

so since no mention of me actually wishing people the very traditional "HAVE A NICE AND HAPPY NEW YEAR"... than THIS is the shout-out la *hehe*

let's try and make it a GOOD one, shall we?

-#-

Selamat Hari Raya Haji

2006-01-07T14:50:00.000+08:00

well well,

like the title says: Selamat Hari Raya Haji semua :)

next up: Maal Hijrah la :) but before that, Chinese New Year lo...

i am SO looking forward to time off via public holidays.
have a good weekend, ya!

/me in buoyant mood. taking monday off. going back to kuching this evening. yay!

-#-

Of Being Single

2006-01-02T18:04:00.000+08:00

the most frequent ‘advice’ given to someone single is “Go find yourself someone”. the ‘someone’ being men / women, boyfriend / girlfriend – depends solely on what gender you are.

most often than not, this ‘advice’ comes from someone who is in a relationship.
whether or not that someone truly cares about you, the advice just flies.
hurls.
in every direction.
at YOU.

ehmmm doesn’t that someone realise how hard it is to even find a significant other? regardless whether it is short-term or long-term, the effort taken is massive.
but let’s not talk about the commitment yet, ya?

the only point that i’m trying to make is, to even get to the LIKE stage is one big step to climb.
but that’s beyond the point.
what matters is to like someone enough, and for that someone to like you back.
to wanna give it a shot. a try. to see where it leads to.

the first step is trying to find THAT someone.
it’s not like that person can be found behind the door, underneath a rock, in a room.
until that someone is found, what else can one do but wait?
time will tell.

will it?

-#-

.... (four dots)

2005-12-22T21:24:00.000+08:00

if i were to say that i miss u
what would you do?

if i were to admit that you’re still on my mind
what would it come to?

if thoughts turn
to memories past
to times shared
to moments lost, lost in time
of promises made, but never kept
of emotions felt and scrambled thoughts

where longing lurks
and yearning once were

then where do i stand?
what do i do?

the past is best left behind
in the dark, without light
where dim sparks are few
to remind us of the hopes that seems like dew

feelings…
fleeting
but overwhelming… when it is true
seems so much like the morning dew

I DO.
MISS YOU.
OF TIMES SPENT IN THE PAST,
WITH YOU.

221205, 0010 hrs -#-

Of New Year & Resolution…

2005-12-21T23:09:00.000+08:00

New Year is around the corner.
Come 31st December, the next day is a new year.
Every year.
Come the New Year, the word Resolution tags along. Hitches on.

So the question is: what are your Resolutions for the New Year?

But the main question is: did you fulfill all the previous years’ resolutions? (Most probably not, right?)

So why do we always bother with Resolution(s)?
Year in, and year out.
Its boils down to it being dragged on to the next year at the end of the day, right?

And why do we always associate Resolution with the New Year?
Perhaps it’s just the word: Resolution.
Association with the coming New Year which is just inseparable, set in stone in our mind.

Let’s have an example – a dialogue with oneself and a preoccupation with the term ‘watching my food’.
Scene: OK, I need to watch my food. But just let me savour the day, and I’ll start tomorrow. Maybe tonight if things are bad. But most likely tomorrow. Come to think of it, definitely tomorrow.
Analysis: Let’s assume that the scenario with watching one’s food has a health situation attached to it. Thus the sentence “maybe tonight if things are bad” can be justified, and immediate action needs to be taken. No prolonging to the next week, not the next month, not the next year.

So perhaps, the next connection between Resolution and New Year is procrastination.
It relates to things that one can move forward to the next year, that we eventually identify as Resolution.
And that just MAY be it, association with the New Year. Inseparable connection.

Till then, happy procrastinating.

ps. I tried it only once. When I was 10. When I turned 11, and didn’t get to do what I had resolved then, I gave up. For good. Now things are done in the short term basis. Keeps things simpler, on my part that is.

pps. The ‘for good’ part up in the ‘ps’ – at least for the years leading up to now. Ha!

-#-

madness...

2005-12-18T00:15:00.000+08:00

It is madness

To hate all roses
Because you got scratched with one thorn…
To give up on your dreams
Because one didn’t come true…
To lose faith and prayers
Because one was not answered…
To give up on your efforts
Because one of them failed…
To condemn all your friends
Because one betrayed you…
Not to believe in love
Because someone was unfaithful or didn’t love you back…
To throw away all your chances to be happy
Because you did not succeed on the first attempt…

I hope that as you go on your way
You don’t give in to madness
Remembering always…
Another chance may come up
Another friend
A new love
A renewed strength

Be persistent
Look for happiness in every day
The sure path of failure is to give up!
It is often through failure that success come – KEEP TRYING! God bless ya…

****

quoted from a powerpoint presentation file, author anon.
next posting: of New Year & Resolution

-#-

How can you like something unless you try it?

2005-12-01T21:52:00.000+08:00

how can you like something unless you try it?

that line is quoted from one of the rubino brothers, who have a syndicated programme over the Discovery Travel & Living programme.

with that sentence, it opens a flood of thoughts over in my head. ever since i’d first heard it, i had always wanted to elaborate on it, to share the quote. i’ve only quoted it once to a guy friend (about 2 ½ weeks back, who was undergoing an emotional ‘crisis’ then. amazing that this is the same guy that i had an emotional turmoil situation only 6 months back. haha. now that’s another story altogether. i’m over it tho…).

i digress.
now back to the sentence, it amazes me how people are so reluctant to change, but expect good things to come their way. how we are set in who we are. so maybe i’m a cynic. but aren’t the possibilities of trying something new (and liking it later) seems so much fun? that it’ll add wonders to our pot-hold of experience and ultimately, enriching our lives? regardless whether it’ll be for better or worse, at the most, it is experience gained, is it not?

that line is so open, is so applicable in our daily lives, and has so many contexts in it.

people admitting that they are ‘open’ sounds so cliché, eh?
1. open is, as open does.
2. one may be open in one ‘area’ in their lives, and be rigid in another.
3. one may be accepting in the thinking process, and rejects the application of the thought in life.

i’m currently reading tolstoy’s anna karenina.
so it’s a classic. so it’s a russian classic.

i find russian classic writers interesting.
they are able to portray their characters as people being so set in their ways, so rigid to change. and yet the turmoil that goes on in the mind of the characters is so prevalent.
the decisions that needs to be made. the actions taken.
so much imagery of the setting, of the mood.
so much angst, so much pain.
so much sorrow, and yet joy in manners surprisingly true…
so much of life is captured between the pages, and so much time needed to sift through the plots and sub-plots…

ah! the characters portrayed by a classic russian writer…
(but i’m open to suggestion of other good writers too. please do).

how we are set in who we are.

interestingly enough, i saw a documentary on the human baby (Discovery channel) a few months back. how it said that parenting skills is not set, and based on the character of the baby itself.
thus, parents will adapt the skills according to the baby’s character.
interesting.

how can you like something unless you try it?

so come on people, let’s give love a chance.

*****

creativity is free

can creativity be cultivated?
it can, to a certain extent.

but what does creativity need?
an open mind.

but what if you can’t (or won’t) broaden your mind, to see beyond the horizon?
then you’re stuck in your ways, and limited to the choices available.

but will you be happy without creativity in your life?
you can, but won’t you be bored?

but what will boredom affect?
your life. your sanity.

creativity is free

so come on people, let’s give openness a try.

*****

-#-

1st entry… (ever!)

2005-11-30T00:13:00.000+08:00

so alrite, this is the first entry for my blog.

what shall i ramble about? is there any given guideline for ramblings and thoughts, or shall it just go off at any tangent?

amazing thing, the human thinking process…

how one simple word can spark off the logic and the thread can wind and unwind. with or without any relevance at all. i wonder how the thinking process works for pathological and compulsive-obsessive liars, how the sentences weave into lies. is it all just in the mind? i dunno. i guess even if the question were posed to them, then can their answers be taken at face-value as the real answer? or can it just be more lies?

amazing thing, the human thinking process…

before i started typing away, i was thinking of writing something along the lines of how i came about this blog of mine. since we’re on the topic, then i shall, ya? how a friend gave me a web addie for an interesting blog read, and since i wanted to post a comment, i had to be registered. that was yesterday afternoon, and this is where i am now.

whether i’ll be 'disciplined' enough to continue blogging, or whether i’ll be disciplined enough to make time to write my thoughts (never kept a diary)… well that’s left to be seen.

i guess.

-#-